Measure of a year – or three – with melanoma

How do you measure a year, or three, in the life of a cancer survivor? 1,576,800 minutes is more accurately measured in daylight, in sunsets, in smiles, in laughter, much like the song, Seasons of Love (from the musical Rent), states. In memories, in moments captured forever for fear of never getting those moments again.

In truths learned (the harshest delivered exactly three years ago), in tears cried (there were many in those first weeks), in bridges burned (life would never be the same), but mostly life since my diagnosis of metastatic melanoma has been measured in love, endless, overflowing love.

As much as I wish I could see my future filled with the annoyance of complications from aging, I worry more about the chance of recurrence, wondering if a cough or lump should be checked. But the one thing melanoma has given my family and I is an unparalleled bond that would not have been welded if we didn’t stand before the black doors of melanoma.

April 19 will forever be an emotional day for me. I can’t seem to get through this day without a certain amount of sadness and a large amount of emotion. Three years out, when I toast to three years of beating the beast, I still see tears in the eyes of those who mean the most to me.

I remember the looks on the faces of my children that day three years ago, the comments and later messages shared. They knew the worst was possible. They knew they might have to carry on without me.

Going back to the song (Seasons of Love), it’s time to sing out – tomorrow I start a new venture in my life as a group fitness instructor, which strangely enough, resulted from my melanoma diagnosis (see previous post).

Our story never ends (as the songs claims) unless we allow that to happen. Our story continues on through everything we do in our lives and every person we touch, change and help along the way.

Share love, give love, spread love – cancer doesn’t stop that from happening. Sometimes, many times, it causes love to blossom.

Melanoma has changed me in many ways in the past three years. It has changed my family and my friends. It has shown us truly how to measure our lives, our years, in love.

Melanoma has brought me treasures and pains. As much as it has challenged my life, it has improved my life. Moments are more precious. Little things like a child’s laughter, a hawk in the sky, a rainbow, a dragonfly, take on enormous value. A moment visiting with a friend is more priceless than an extravagant vacation.

Three years after my melanoma diagnosis seems like a lifetime, yet it’s infantile. It feels like I’ve been through much – costochondritis, diverticulitis, three rounds of physical therapy, an ear surgery, and more muscle issues than I can count – yet it is so little in a fight against cancer.

Melanoma has tought me many things. Mostly it taught me to measure my life in love.

 

Seasons of Love (from Rent)

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets
In midnight, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love

Seasons of love (love)
Seasons of love (love)

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died

It’s time now to sing out
Though the story never ends
Let’s celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love
(Oh, you got to, you got to remember the love)
Remember the love
(You know that love is a gift from up above)
Remember the love
(Share love, give love, spread love)
Measure in love
(Measure, measure your life in love)

Seasons of love (love)
Seasons of love (love)
(Measure your life, measure your life in love)

 

 

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